Passing Passions
by BleachedMerc
Summary: What's a girl to do when Axel's the hottest boy in class? Date him of course! Warning: You're now entering The Steamhouse. Love story within... OC/Axel
1. The Steamhouse

My name is Lxily, this is my story. It's a story like many others…

Except, just when I was at my worst.

I met him.

His burning gaze.

The heat in his well toned chest.

That hair that defied gravity.

He was a master of all things hawt.

Stepping into the room, it felt like the temperature went up by liek 100 degrees, celsius, not that other one, that's just gross and weird.

But that's for later.

Yes. I met Axel.

And he met me.

**9:38 am – My bedroom, aka The Steamhouse**

"Shiiiiiit!" I squealed when I realized I had slept in.

Getting to my feet I stepped on a wine glass from the night earlier and got a nasty cut along the bottom of my left foot.

I hopped on one foot for a while but couldn't afford to waste any more time. I cushioned my sock with tissue prayed that it would heal enough. I hastily dressed myself, white pantyhose, a black and red plaid skirt and my skullgirls Tee on top.

I hurried through my mascara and I hesitated for a second when I spied the empty shower. I didn't even get a chance to shave my legs this morning.

I ran down the stairs, threw on my shoes and shouted my goodbyes to my dweeby brother, Tixmothy. Man, all he does is play video games. Video games are stupid. I told him to get his eyebrow pierced like me, then he'd be popular at school but he nearly wet his pants at the idea. What a dweeb.

**11:24 am – School**

My school sucks. All it is, is football, toupees and weird smells. Seriously what does Coach Heinz where for deodorant, ketchup?

After a boring lecture about relative physics, schrodinger's cat and a bunch of other nonsense, I turned to texting my BFF, Britany.

Britany was a 5'7" brunette with long flowing hair, a twinkie in her. She was kind of chubby, but hey, more of her to love amiright?

We talked about how cute Josh was when suddenly someone grabbed my phone.

I looked up about to say something, but stopped.

His burning gaze.

The heat in his well toned chest.

That hair that defied gravity.

He was a master of all things hawt.

I stroked back my hair and said "Wow, hotstuff, wanna go out sometime?"

OH MY GOSH! What do you think he said?!

(to be completed in chapter 2)


	2. The Heart-throb

He didn't know what the hell he was doing there, but Axel had a pretty damn good idea it had something to do with the nutty girl playing with her phone. Why? Because ever since he woke up in that miserable place, he heard her squeaky, prepubescent voice narrating every damn little detail about her mundane life.

Not to mention all the gross comments she made about him! Lord, just thinking about it gave him the heebie-jeebies!

With a shudder, Axel manned-up and approached the little demon. It was about to get a whole lot "hawter" than she could ever realize in her gooey, gushy phantasmal dreams. He marched right up to her, grabbed her phone, and smashed it into tiny bits.

The deluded girl babbled some incoherent gibberish, but Axel ignored it. A devilish smile crossed his lips and he broke out into hysterical laughter. "So you like hot stuff, do you? I'll show you hot stuff!"

In the blink of an eye, the whole room caught fire, killing everyone instantly. All save for the girl. Oh, he had _plans_ for her.

"Omigosh, but I wuvs you, Axel! I wanna have your babies!" The girl batted her eyelashes, not even the least bit aware of all the death surrounding her. She was too enraptured by Axel to notice anything else. While the flames ingested the building's frame and foundation, she ripped off her shirt to show her flat chest that was made to look larger by stuffing two large, ripe cantaloupes in a bra she clearly didn't need. She then ripped the leggings off her pants, showing off her fuzzy legs in a way she must have thought was sexy, but totally wasn't. Bringing her hand to her lips—which were smothered in lipstick that streaked all over the place—she blew Axel kisses.

"So you like to be all suggestive, do you?" Axel scoffed. "Like to pull innocent assassins from out of their home worlds and toy with them, huh? Like to make up a bunch of crap about guys who are just minding their own business and have in no way done anything to deserve this kind of treatment, eh? Heh." Axel summoned his chakrams. "Little girl, I'll show you what _Axel's all about_."

Without warning, he shot his chakrams into the little demon and knocked her into the wall. Hell, let's make it _through_ the wall. A little rubble never hurt anyone. The collision with the ground aggravated the cut on her foot, and Lxily winced and cried out in pain.

"Aww, what's the matter?" said Axel mockingly as he stalked closer. "Did you hurt your wittle foot?"

Lxily sniffed and nodded. She took off her padded sock to show Axel the wound. "Kiss it and make it better…?" she crooned with puppy dog eyes.

"Here, let Axel—the assassin who single-handedly killed most of Organization XIII, who slaughtered his own brethren without remorse, who was responsible for countless deaths and unspeakable crimes against humanity for the sake of his own selfish desire to obtain a heart—help you with that." With merciless eyes, Axel looked down at his prey and unleashed another barrage of attacks. He then set the girl aflame and watched her burn. The alcohol she had consumed the night before helped make her more flammable.

"Didn't your parents ever tell you? Play with fire, and you get burned."

While she was aflame, Axel pulled out a bag of marshmallows and a Pooh stick. He stuck a couple marshmallows on the stick and roasted them over the girl's flames. After sharing his roasted marshmallows with his pal Roo, the two of them returned back to the realm of Kingdom Hearts where they parted ways. Axel went off to sacrifice himself for Sora while Roo returned the Pooh stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh. Lxily burned to death, but not before serving as the campfire for the meeting of the local chapter of the Woodchuck Scouts. She roasted many more marshmallows before her passing.

The end.


	3. The Afterburn

**? am – I don't % #&ing know!**

I opened one eye. The other was covered or worse. It just wouldn't open. I groggily looked around the room.

There was a strange beeping next to my bed. And the room was really white. Liek REALLY white.

"Am I dead?" I tried to say, but my voice was just a gurgle as I had some large tube bandaged and taped to my mouth.

"Hiya." A little rat like creature wearing a labcoat waved at me.

I leapt from the bed faster than Britany at an all-you-can-eat, no-holds-barred buffet.

"What the $#& are you?!" I nasally breathed into the tube.

"Whoa! Now wait just a minute, you just suffered fourth degree burns all over your-!"

I overturned the bed and medical equipment at that moment, crushing the weird mouse-cat thing underneath.

Ripping out the tube and a good chunk of the bandages, I cried out.

"Ow! Shit! My foot!" I hopped up and down on one foot. The cut from the wineglass, however long ago that was, hadn't healed yet.

**10:58 am – The Saint Horace the Horse's Hospital**

After being tackled and detained by Hospital security outside in the parking lot. I was returned to my room and once again hooked back up to the weird-ass tube thingy.

I was also wrapped up in a straight-jacket and had two posted guards outside my room.

The guards are there on account that I stabbed a long-nosed, bespectacled nurse at the front desk on my way out.

"Now, Miss Lxily..." My new hunky doctor said as I batted my eyelids at him.

I'd have batted my eyelashes but those seemed to be missing.

"Miss Lxily, I need you to pay attention. You've suffered fourth degree burns all over your-!"

Yeah yeah, we already heard that part.

Zexy! My doctor was that hunkalicious Zexion!

Though his nametag read "Ienzo."

Who the $#% is Ienzo?

Doesn't matter, the man was dreamy.

"- The alcohol in your system acted as a combustible and 90% of your internal organ are.. well.. fried. How you're still alive.. let alone able to run all the way out to the other side of the parking lot is beyond me."

There was a pause.

"Blink once if you can understand me."

Oh right! Trauma victim!

I blinked.

"Good. Now, we tried calling your mother but when we told her that her daughter was in the hospital, she said that 'no, she didn't wanna work in a brothel.." so we just moved down the list to your emergency contact... your.. uh.. grandfather?"

I nodded. Grandpa Xehanort would know how to get me out of this mess.

"Okay, he said he'd be here within the hour. So you just make yourself comfortable and uh... Yeah, I don't know what more we can do for you. Sorry."

I watched the hunky man meat walked out the door, giving me one last forlorn look before departing down the hall.

Ah! He was in _LOVE!_

**4:53 pm – The Saint Horace the... where the $#% do you think I am?!**

"Ah, my darling baby granddarter." Grandpa said in his weird crooney Star Trekkie voice...

...When he finally arrived SEVEN FREAKIN' HOURS LATER!

"I'm sorry, I'd have arrived sunner, but I needed to gether the thirteen derknesses togather before I could manifest in my physical furm wonce again...er."

Oh.. right. That whole fighting Sora thing...

God I love my grandfather's voice, don't you? God, if he wasn't a shrivelled old prune... AND my grandfather, he'd be such a dream boat.

"Now..." Grandpa raised his creepy gloved hand like he was fondling a coconut. "It has come to mer attention that you have saffered four degree burns to most of yer boddee. Since I now have the thridteen darknesses in my... clutches. I can now.. hold awesome pow-were. Well... twelve. Twelve derknesses. I'm still hoping that Sora can be... persuaded... It's a long shot... but at this point... who knows?"

I rolled my eye.

Yeah right. Not a chance in hell of that ever happening. Sorry, Grandpa.

"Now we need to give you a new body. This one is far too... gone." Grandpa lifted up the bedsheet and looked at my charcoalled legs.

Shit. That's right. I hadn't shaved before Axel torched me to a crisp.

Oh well, no point worrying over that now.

"Now if we destroy your Heartless and your Nobody.. there is a slim guaranteed chance you shall retake your original... form."

Grandpa lifted up his creepy old-man keyblade.

"I say... chance because it didn't work for... poor Jeupetto."

And Grandpa cut me down.

"Noooooo!" I cried! "I didn't get to confess my feelings to Zexy Zexion... Ienzo!

**2:01 pm – The Fellowship of the Pooh**

Roo was counting Pooh sticks. Worried he had missed one, but he hadn't.

The End.


End file.
